Tag Archives: depression

Dealing With Depression Alone

May 23, 2022 RolandF 2 Comments

Many out there would likely argue that the present pandemic has given lots of chances for dealing with depression alone.

Everyone on this planet will have experienced physical pain at one time or another, and there is also the chance that they have suffered mentally and emotionally, especially during this past year.

Although it could be said that there is a greater awareness around the former than the latter, it doesn’t mean that this is because what is taking place within can simply be overlooked.

One Outlook

As based on how today’s world is, it would be easy to say that what is taking place at a mental and emotional level is not as important as what is taking place at a physical level.

There is then no reason for each area to receive the same amount of attention and everything should stay as it is.

If one has suffered mentally or emotionally, they will know that physical pain is not something that is more important.

They could find it hard to understand why the world is the way it is, and this is to be expected.

Another View

At the same time, if one hasn’t suffered in the same way, they might find it easy to understand why someone would have this outlook.

In their eyes, mental or emotional pain could be seen as something that doesn’t have much of an effect on how someone experiences life.

In this case, if they were to come across someone who is suffering in this way, they might wonder why they can’t just ‘get over it’, for instance.

They could believe that these kinds of people are weak.

Giving Advice

Therefore, if they were to come across someone who is suffering, they may tell them that they need to toughen up.

And that if they were to start taking action or to simply change their life, they would soon feel better.

Still, it would be inaccurate to say this outlook will apply to everyone, as there will be people that have good understanding of what it is like.

This could be a sign that they have friends and/or family who have a mental or emotional problem.

In The Past

Along with this, one may also have suffered themselves, in one way or another in the past, and this then gives them a deeper understanding of what it is like.

Either way, they will have the ability to empathize with people who are suffering as opposed to dismissing their experience.

As when one looks down on people who suffer mentally or emotionally, or wonders why they can’t just ‘get it together’, it can be a sign that they find it hard to empathize.

But if they can empathize, then it shows that something is allowing them to put themselves in these people’s shoes.

Shame

One of the main reasons why physical pain receives more attention than mental and emotional pain is due to the following:

For all too long, having mental and emotional problems has been seen as something to be ashamed of.

This has then stopped people from reaching out for the support that they need, and it then sets them up to suffer in silence and alone.

Fortunately, as time has passed, this is starting to change; however, there are still plenty of people who are unable to reach out for the support they desperately need.

Part of Life

Having a mental and/or emotional problem can then become a life sentence and not something that one can gradually move beyond.

It then won’t matter what kind of condition their body is in, as they won’t be able to enjoy the life that they have been given.

One of the most common mental and emotional problems that someone can suffer from is depression. During the present pandemic this has become even more prevalent.

This can be something that is fairly mild, or it can be something that is far more extreme.

Depression

Through depression, one can feel down and lose interest in life. Each day will then be a struggle.

This is not to say that everyone experiences depression the same, as there can be a difference in how if affects people.

At the same time, this is how lots of people experience life when they are depressed. And when one ends up feeling depressed, they can end up suffering in silence or they can go and see their doctor, for instance.

The Second Option

If one was to go to see their doctor, they might end up being referred to a therapist and/or end up being put on antidepressants.

It could be said that it would be better for them to work with a therapist than to simply take something.

The reason for this is that it will give them the chance to look into why they are experiencing life in this way; whereas if they were to simply take something, they wouldn’t be able to gain a better understanding of themselves.

There is also the chance that it might be better for them to avoid taking anything, but this can all depend on the circumstances.

Self-Reflection

Through working with a therapist, it will give them the chance to bring their attention within themselves and to take a deeper look into why they are experiencing life in this way.

Yet this doesn’t mean that one needs to work with a therapist in order to do this, as they can often do this by themselves.

This can be a time where one can think about when they first started to experience life in this way and what was taking place for them at that time.

Or if this in an experience that comes and goes, they can look into what takes place when it comes and what takes place when it goes.

A Process

When one’s point of focus is on what is taking place within them, they will be observing their thoughts, emotions and sensations.

The feelings that arise within them could relate to something that has occurred during their adult life or what took place during their childhood.

This can then mean that one is carrying trapped emotions in their body, and this will have an effect on what is taking place in their head.

But like most things in life, it can take a while before one is able to observe what is taking place within them.

Different Factors

At the same time, this doesn’t mean that depression is also caused by what is taking place within them, as it can be due to what they eat, the kind of environment they live in and what has been passed down from their ancestors.

When their experience is not their own and it has been passed down, they will be suffering out of their need to be loyal.

Awareness

Through developing self-awareness one will be able to get the ball moving and from here, they can begin to see why they are experiencing life as they are,

The alternative would be for one to have absolutely no awareness of what is taking place within them and it would then be a lot harder for them to change their life.

If one wants to develop self-awareness, they can do this through working with a therapist and by meditating.

Reading books on self-development can also help.

Are there any comments or observations?

Health

Understanding The Depression

July 27, 2020 RolandF 2 Comments

In this blog we look at understanding the depression.

Following are ten things to consider when viewed from the prospective of the depressed person:

1. Know That We’re Just As Confused As You.

We don’t have all the answers. We barely have any.

Most people find the best way to start is by asking “What can I do to help?”

This is very kind, and for some even helpful, but people with depression usually always feel a sense of helplessness.

We don’t know what to do either. If we did we’d be taking action… this shouldn’t be surprising but we don’t want depression either!

So while asking us for ideas is very thoughtful, we usually just don’t know.

2. We ENJOY Being Alone.

Being alone all the time makes it easier to be depressed.

When we’re at our lowest, being alone can make us feel isolated and ignored. However sometimes being alone is fun for us.

We can be ourselves all locked up in our room, and when we don’t feel very sad, it can even be enjoyable.

3. We’re Not Always Sad, But We’re Always Depressed.

Yes, there is a difference. We’re not always ready to burst into tears, (though there are days) but we’re not happy very often.

“How are you feeling?” is also a commonly asked question; and a good one. However, when we’re not actively sad, but not happy either, it’s possible for us to feel nothing. Nothing at all!

Personally, I call it “feeling *meh”. Allow me to put it this way: at our happiest, we’re at your “kinda-happy”.

When we’re ecstatic, we’re at your “happy”. When we’re “kinda-happy”, we’re at your meh. And when we’re “meh”, we seem depressed.

Our normal mood is at a lower “happiness level” than someone without depression. This may explain why we’re often asked “what’s wrong” when we’re not upset.

4. We’re Not Okay.

Depression hurts. It’s as simple as that. It hurts us, it hurts you, it just hurts.

We don’t know how to end it, eventually we learn how to just barely cope.

One thing can push us over the edge to the point where we’re banging our head against a wall screaming and crying just because we forgot to buy new body wash.

It sounds silly, and it is, and someone without depression can look at that and think that it’s not a big deal, but that’s how bad it is.

We’re just barely coping and any amount of stress can be enough to push us over the edge.

This isn’t to say that you should walk on eggshells around us or that we should be treated different.

Please don’t do that, despite your best efforts it’ll end up making us feel incompetent and stupid.

This is not your fight, all we would like is your support.

5. Excessive Sleep Seems Necessary To Us.

We’re so emotionally worn out from all the criticism we receive from ourselves that we’re always tired.

This is why we nap all the time, we sleep in, yet we still look tired when we’ve slept 14 hours in one day (give or take).

6. Sometimes We Want To Talk About It, Sometimes We Need To Figure It Out Ourselves.

When we’re ready to talk to you, we want your undivided and unlimited attention.

This isn’t always possible, and we know that, but we still want it.

And yes, we know we’re being irrational. However, sometimes, we don’t want to talk about it. We want you to leave us alone and let us figure it out ourselves.

Again, irrational, and the way we explain that to you may leave you feeling hurt. This is not our intention, please don’t take it personally.

It’s hard for us to tell you how we feel when we don’t completely understand it.

It’s important that you know that the sense of helplessness can be overwhelming.

Subconsciously, fixing our own problems (even though we usually can’t) is how we think we can get rid of that helplessness.

7. Don’t Suggest Therapy.

If we suggest it, help us out, talk it through, etc. but don’t suggest it.

We already feel different. Suggesting therapy will only make us feel crazy, even if that’s not what you meant.

In certain cases, carefully suggesting a counselor may be helpful, but only if the person doesn’t realize they need help.

(If you plan to do this, it may be helpful to wait until the person is calm to address this.)

8. We Can Be Very Touchy.

We criticise ourselves A LOT, so anything you say can be twisted to be criticism.

Not your fault, it’s just a fact.

Please note that these are things that you should understand, not things that you should change about yourself.

You can’t solve this, but we can’t always help how we feel and it can seem like all of it is directed at you. It’s not, we just aren’t always sure how to show this.

9. Sometimes We Want To Be Cuddled, Sometimes… Don’t Touch Us.

It sounds sad but internal isolation is something we get used to.

While sometimes we want to curl up and cuddle and be held and cry and then feel better, I find that usually we try to handle it by ourselves and don’t want to be shown any sign of sympathy.

10. We Know That It’s Hurting You Too, But We Don’t Know What To Do.

We can see the helplessness on your face when you can’t help us out, or don’t know what to do, and we’re sorry, even though there’s nothing we can do.

Maybe that’s part of the reasoning to our isolation. We don’t want you to have to deal with it too.

We feel hurt, different, incompetent, depressed, and just generally helpless all the time.

This is in no way your fault, and we don’t know how you can help us.

All of these struggles are internal, whether they stemmed from an external source or not, and honestly the best thing you can give us is your patience and support.

Note: Not all of these will be true for everyone with depression.

Everyone’s different, with different levels of depression. You may find that only one or two of these pertain to your loved one.

It will be noted that one of the ways of dealing with depression is through meditation. Therefore, I will link a blog on meditation which I published here almost one year ago now.

Any comments?

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Tag Archives: depression

Dealing With Depression Alone

Understanding The Depression

Health & Fitness