Divorce can take a heavy toll on the lives of those involved. The feelings of anger, loss, confusion and betrayal can be overwhelmingly painful.  Depression after a divorce can be a very real  challenge.

 

For those who have not undergone divorce, it can be extremely tough to even imagine what it takes to part ways with a loved one.  For most of those  who have, dealing with uncertainty is tough, and the only thought that runs wild in their minds is, “now what?”

Someone I know was one of those who was plagued with the thought,  “How can I thrive outside of the relationship?” When her unhappy marriage of six years came to an end, it became difficult for her to deal with rejection and a broken heart.

The negative feelings were so profound that panic attacks became a regular feature, and soon fear, loneliness and boredom began to creep in.

Gradually, depression became her identity, and in a bid to escape from reality, she resorted to drinking.

A few shots of alcohol made her feel light-headed and numb to the emotional pain.  However, each drink left her craving for more. Her brain began to depend on alcohol to release the feel-good chemicals.

Unfortunately, she ended up being a victim of addiction, which further aggravated her mental condition.

Coping strategies to combat pain of divorce

Divorce is neither shameful nor an indicator that life is over. The bottom line is that some relationships work, while others simply don’t.

Undoubtedly, divorce is unfortunate, regardless of the causes or the circumstances, but one must learn to move on in life, rather than dwell on the past.

Here are some tips to consider after moving away from a loved one:

• Regaining lost self-worth:

Believing in oneself is the key to regaining diminished self-esteem.  It is common to experience grief and bitterness, but it just takes a bit of focus and a new intention to allow oneself to keep going and regain the lost self-worth.

• Staying busy:

As the old saying goes, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” An occupied mind can effectively counter the feelings of dejection. Investing time in pursing something gratifying goes a long way in banishing undesirable thoughts.

• Letting bygones be bygones:

Clinging onto remorseful feelings and resentment is futile. While it is essential to acknowledge the past, as there could be several lessons to learn, dwelling on it only prevents an individual from getting ready for the next thrilling phase of life.

• Seizing the moment:

Life is too beautiful to ignore. Getting the most out of life by seizing the moment is the remedy to stop worrying about what tomorrow may hold.  What matters is this moment in time, which is too precious to lose.

• Setting right priorities:

Knowing one’s purpose in life will steer an individual in the right direction, and keep him or her away from unproductive thoughts and anxiety. Setting priorities in life is a compass which gives life a goal and meaning.

Moving toward a better life:

Divorce should not be considered shameful, but it is not something easy either.

It can be a nerve-racking transition,and may lead to depression in the absence of proper support and counseling.

Talk therapy helps a divorcee to recover from post-divorce depression by incorporating partnership, support, relationship, collaboration, communication, understanding, action, and participation.

Talk therapy has been effective in addressing depression by changing the perception, thoughts, beliefs and moods of a divorcee toward a more positive direction.

Be it noted that everything in this post my apply to not only a couple but also to the children, close relatives, and friends who have had their lives disrupted by the divorce as well.

Children, and especially young people are often left to ask the question “Was I somehow responsible for what happened?”  That can be very dangerous!

Please feel free to leave below your comments or observations.